Latest project: The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace (Northfield Publishing/Moody Publishers).

How did your success with the Love Languages books spur you on to write about appreciation? 

Chapman (pictured left): I knew and have known for a long time that the concept that people feel loved and appreciated in different ways was a valid concept, so I’ve wanted to do this book for a long time and have had a number of people who have volunteered in writing such a book, and I just never quite felt I had the right person till I met Dr. White.

Dr. White, how did you and Dr. Chapman learn to appreciate each other?

White (pictured right): It’s been a great process. … I pursued Dr. Chapman because I thought that the concepts of the five love languages would apply to workplace-based relationships, and it had helped my wife and I personally.

Can you explain how the appreciation languages relate to the love languages (words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, quality time, physical touch)?

Chapman: It’s the same five languages because we believe that appreciation in the workplace is meeting the same emotional need as the word love in a personal relationship. … We simply are taking the five love languages into the workplace and we think that it will have the same effect in the emotional climate of the workplace that the love languages do in changing the emotional climate in a marriage.

Obviously touch has to be appropriate, so what’s the best way to use it in the workplace?

Chapman: This was the tricky one in the workplace. … We do believe that there are appropriate touches in the workplace that affirm people, pats on the back, high fives, handshakes—extended handshakes sometimes—but there are appropriate ways and for some people this is very, very meaningful.

What if, for some reason, you really don’t appreciate your employees or co-workers? 

Chapman: I think that’s important to acknowledge, and we deal with that in the book. … We’re not encouraging you to give appreciation to someone you don’t appreciate. You need to deal with what lies behind your lack of appreciation for that person.

What is the difference between appreciation and recognition?

Chapman: Recognizing [for performance or longevity] is much more traditional. … We see appreciation as being much deeper than that and much broader than that. We’re not simply giving appreciation when people reach a certain milestone or when they accomplish something on a project. We’re giving appreciation for who they are. Sometimes it’s focused on their personality … sometimes it’s focusing on their character.

White: Businesses and organizations are trying to communicate appreciation, but they’re doing group kinds of activities and/or they’re doing it in ways that really aren’t meaningful to the individual, and that’s really our goal, to help them understand what this person wants and needs so that you don’t waste your time and energy doing things that don’t really hit the target.

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