Latest project: When It All Falls Apart: Finding Healing, Joy, and Victory Through the Pain (Charisma House).

How would you say you have grown through suffering, having experienced a divorce due to the infidelity of your husband, pastor Zachery Tims; his unexpected death; and being “discarded” by your church? Heb. 5:8 says, “Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered.” Through my pain, agony and devastation, I learned that there is only one person that I can trust with my life, my hope, thoughts and dreams. It was through these times that He taught me how to hear his voice. There was so much deception and manipulation around me; I had to learn obedience to Him.

Sadly, your husband had multiple affairs, though you had a long marriage. You realized that you enabled him—how so? I misunderstood the principles of submitting to my husband. When I reached out for help from others in ministry and my husband became aware, I was called a rebellious wife for speaking to others. I wanted the first priority to be his restoration, not getting back to the pulpit. I felt that if he was not truly restored spiritually, he could not effectively lead others. Although he stopped preaching for a while, he still ran the church behind the scenes. He never fully stepped down to get healed. I should have been more forthright regardless of what he or others thought of me. I believe this enabled him to continue in his struggles. 

You called one of the women with whom your husband had had an affair and ended up leading her to the Lord—how did that happen? It was around the time that I became aware of one of my husband’s affairs, when one of his mistresses started posting details of their affair on the Internet. I did not want my children to see all the horrid details, so I contacted her with the intent of asking her to stop. While talking to her, the Holy Spirit impressed on me to pray for her and to let her know that my husband’s action did not reflect the actions of those who follow Christ, and I wanted her to know that Jesus loved her.

What was the turning point in your attitude toward him? A friend told me that though [I was] no longer married, the covenant of praying for my spouse still existed. When I learned that I still had to pray for him, my heart changed. The extreme anger began to leave, and true forgiveness came. I began to have compassion and sometimes pity for him and his struggles. I only wanted to see him whole again.

How hard was that to be open about your struggles? It wasn’t difficult for me to be transparent about my life. That is the basis of the Majestic Life Ministry. I want the light of truth to shine. Also, when I was going through my depression and anger, I wanted to hear from someone who successfully completed the journey that I was taking. I looked for books and I looked for speakers that could identify with the pain that I was feeling. I believe the more transparent I am, the more I can help someone walk in healing and wholeness. I hope this book shows the things that I did right as well as the things I did wrong so others can maneuver through their own personal journeys.

You write that one of the most painful things in life is “church hurt.” Why do you think that is? The church is a place of healing and restoration. It is a hospital for those who are sick and hurting spiritually and physically. That is where you should go to find love and understanding. However, if you are shunned, ignored and judged at church, where else do you go?

You write that “depression wanted to devour” you. How do you feel God is restoring you now? God has restored and is restoring most everything in my life. I love ministry. I love being around the people of God, and I am not afraid to stand up to those who are in perpetrating the church. I have a sense of balance. I am not confused about the illusion of the professional church. I clearly recognize the spiritual church.

How do you think God will use this book in others’ lives? When I tried to minister to people who were going through divorce or betrayal, I could not fully help them because I did not understand the depth of the pain. This book can help someone who may have the spirit of death on them and they have no one to talk to because their family and friends just don’t understand their pain or situation. I hope this book will be a voice to them that someone understands and can help them make it through the struggles. Or this book can help a family member of someone going through.

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