Latest project: When It All Falls Apart: Finding Healing, Joy, and Victory Through the Pain (Charisma House).
How would you say you have grown through
suffering, having experienced a divorce due to the infidelity of your
husband, pastor Zachery Tims; his unexpected death; and being
“discarded” by your church? Heb. 5:8 says,
“Although he was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered.”
Through my pain, agony and devastation, I learned that there is only one
person that I can trust with my life, my hope, thoughts and dreams. It
was through these times that He taught me how to hear his voice. There
was so much deception and manipulation around me; I had to learn
obedience to Him.
Sadly, your husband had multiple affairs, though you had a long marriage. You realized that you enabled him—how so? I
misunderstood the principles of submitting to my husband. When I
reached out for help from others in ministry and my husband became
aware, I was called a rebellious wife for speaking to others. I wanted
the first priority to be his restoration, not getting back to the
pulpit. I felt that if he was not truly restored spiritually, he could
not effectively lead others. Although he stopped preaching for a while,
he still ran the church behind the scenes. He never fully stepped down
to get healed. I should have been more forthright regardless of what he
or others thought of me. I believe this enabled him to continue in his
struggles.
You called one of the women with whom your husband had had an affair and ended up leading her to the Lord—how did that happen?
It was around the time that I became aware of one of my husband’s
affairs, when one of his mistresses started posting details of their
affair on the Internet. I did not want my children to see all the horrid
details, so I contacted her with the intent of asking her to stop.
While talking to her, the Holy Spirit impressed on me to pray for her
and to let her know that my husband’s action did not reflect the actions
of those who follow Christ, and I wanted her to know that Jesus loved
her.
What was the turning point in your attitude toward him? A
friend told me that though [I was] no longer married, the covenant of
praying for my spouse still existed. When I learned that I still had to
pray for him, my heart changed. The extreme anger began to leave, and
true forgiveness came. I began to have compassion and sometimes pity for
him and his struggles. I only wanted to see him whole again.
How hard was that to be open about your struggles? It
wasn’t difficult for me to be transparent about my life. That is the
basis of the Majestic Life Ministry. I want the light of truth to shine.
Also, when I was going through my depression and anger, I wanted to
hear from someone who successfully completed the journey that I was
taking. I looked for books and I looked for speakers that could identify
with the pain that I was feeling. I believe the more transparent I am,
the more I can help someone walk in healing and wholeness. I hope this
book shows the things that I did right as well as the things I did wrong
so others can maneuver through their own personal journeys.
You write that one of the most painful things in life is “church hurt.” Why do you think that is? The
church is a place of healing and restoration. It is a hospital for
those who are sick and hurting spiritually and physically. That is where
you should go to find love and understanding. However, if you are
shunned, ignored and judged at church, where else do you go?
You write that “depression wanted to devour” you. How do you feel God is restoring you now?
God has restored and is restoring most everything in my life. I love
ministry. I love being around the people of God, and I am not afraid to
stand up to those who are in perpetrating the church. I have a sense of
balance. I am not confused about the illusion of the professional
church. I clearly recognize the spiritual church.
How do you think God will use this book in others’ lives?
When I tried to minister to people who were going through divorce or
betrayal, I could not fully help them because I did not understand the
depth of the pain. This book can help someone who may have the spirit of
death on them and they have no one to talk to because their family and
friends just don’t understand their pain or situation. I hope this book
will be a voice to them that someone understands and can help them make
it through the struggles. Or this book can help a family member of
someone going through. |